It's REALLY okay if you go

A subscriber left today. I’m neither surprised nor disappointed, but want to take this opportunity to remind you.

I hope you’ll stay, but it’s really okay if you go. If you don’t want to receive these blog posts by email… simply unsubscribe.

My writing isn’t for everyone. Sometimes I want to write about love and courage. Other times, I need to write about what’s challenging, confusing and scary.

These days I feel drawn to write about what scares me, and I know I’m holding back.

Keeping silent about the shadows just makes them haunt me more. They wake me up in the middle of the night, and I find myself crafting sentences in the dark.

Shining light on the fears and the confusion — by writing — is one of the ways I make the shadows go away. Or make peace with their presence.

Writing helps me find the strength to recognize — that even when the hard stuff is here — that I’m okay. And that I’m not alone.

Writing is how I make sense of what fear says.

So that I can hear what love wants.

And sharing that process is what I want to do.

When my words are unfiltered, I like them best. When my thoughts are not fully formed, I get more energy to write. Writing helps me figure out how I feel, and in the process, I feel better.

---

These days, as I settle into a place and stop moving so much, I am thinking about other chapters of my life.

I share land with my former partner, in a co-housing community in Córdoba, Argentina, where we built a small home and a big farm.

In 2019, as the community expanded, it began to face real challenges. The lack of water and an increase in wildfires started to get serious. In 2024, things got real.

In 2021, I left, but went back for a few months, and was there when the fire came.

Big fears sometimes cause big trauma. And sometimes they give us real strength.

The experience has changed me, and it’s something about which I need to write.

Perhaps now, because I’m no longer in shock.

Only in the last storm did I realize that I’ve stopped being afraid of clouds. For months, I had imagined every rain cloud carried smoke.

---

Fear and death are topics I talk to my friends about. Fear and death are things I write about. I think it’s time I shared those words here, too.

I want to start to use writing and shipping as the tools they can be. To help me understand what is past and what is present, what is my story and what is someone else’s. To separate love from fear.

I need this space to be one where that’s allowed. For me, and for you.

I need to be able to wonder. To theorize. To be right. To be wrong. To be changed. To discover. To evolve.

To give my whole self a say.

That’s the game I want to play.

It’s up to you to decide…

if you’d like to stay.